I is for Iceberg Cornbread Layered Salad

and Iguana Ike, the Truth is What I Like

“I’ll take a salad.”

“I’ll think I will order the salad today.”

“I guess I should get a salad.”

“Could I have the salad with no croutons and the dressing on the side?”

This is the worst, right?

When everyone at the table is having Shrimp Rakhee and you feel like you have to order a salad?

Why is it we think we are eating “lighter” or healthier when we order salads?

I’m guilty of it too, so I can’t say a word. Just yesterday I had the Super Chef salad with grilled catfish and shrimp.

Wait.

It was divine, I’m not going to lie…lettuce or no lettuce.

So, how many of you make concerted efforts to really “spruce” up your salads?

When I was growing up in Buther’s Hollow…

Wait.

That’s a lie, I grew up on Ollie Caples Road in what was a distinct combination of Mayberry meets Little House on the Prairie, and it was an idyllic childhood, let me tell you.

But when I was growing up on the OC, my mom had this super cool Tupperware serving piece with all these dividers in it which she would fill with different salad toppers.

Wait.

My mom was salad when salad wasn’t cool.

That’s right, she would fill it up with eggs and bacon bits and tomatoes and cheese and broccoli and cauliflower and croutons.

That way, you could custom make your own salad.

How cool is that?

But outside the traditional salad with traditional toppings, what do you do to mix it up, if anything?

At Alphabet Mom, we are going to be “salad mixing” quite a bit and we are starting today by making a wonderful blue cheese wedge with fresh bacon bits.

Wait.

That’s a lie…if there’s two things in the world I won’t eat, it’s oysters and blue cheese.

I just can’t…I have never acquired a taste for blue cheese and the same for oysters…no way, no how, not grilled, not fried, not raw, not ever.

Speaking of lies, I wrote a book about telling the truth, because, well, when I was in the 3^rd grade in Mrs. Edna Mae McGrew’s class, I told a lie.

A big one.

So big, I got sent to the principal’s office…that was a long walk down the hall of shame.

So here’s what happened.

When I was in 3^rd grade we started learning to tell time, right?

Nowadays we learn to tell time in Pre-K 3, but in the dark ages, we learned in 3^rd grade.

I had the privilege of having Mrs. McGrew for my 3^rd grade teacher and was that a challenge for her?

Absolutely.

Math teachers out there don’t judge, but math has always been like a bit of a struggle for me, and learning to tell time was no exception.

So when the test scores came down the pipeline, little Cindy had a big fat zero.

That’s right…not one answer was right because I got my long and short hands mixed up.

Wait.

Didn’t you have to show this paper to your mom and get her to sign it?

Why yes, yes I did.

Did you know that MOST teachers can tell when a 3^rd grader signs their parent’s signature instead of the grown-up parent?

Asking for a friend.

Long story short: I got found out when Mrs. McGrew compared the signatures (as if that was really necessary) and made me call my mom.

And walk the hall of shame to go call her.

On a rotary phone. In the dark ages.

You will have to read the book to know how it ends, but you might be surprised to know my dad got involved and handled it beautifully.

And as a result of this silly story with a really good (and unexpected) ending, we now have Iguana Ike, The Truth is What I Like, because children can’t hear it too much that they should always tell the truth, no matter the potential consequences.

And because this crazy blog post today started with ordering a salad I feel like we should end it with how to make a really fabulous one.

A salad, served in a trifle bowl that will be both tasty and beautiful.

Who’s ready?

This recipe has several steps, but nothing that you need culinary school training for…just trust me that when you get everything ready, the preparation is worth it!

Now, cornbread is the start of today’s prize winning recipe, and I used Jiffy cornbread mix because I like my cornbread a little sweet.

But, they make a wonderful gluten free cornbread mix if you subscribe to that diet or alternatively you can make it from scratch.

Whatever way you get there, you will need some cornbread.

I used 2 boxes of Jiffy, made with 2/3 cups of milk and 2 eggs and away we go!

While my cornbread was baking, I made my dressing by whisking 1 1/3 cups of buttermilk, 1 cup of mayonnaise and 1 packet of Hidden Valley Ranch Fiesta dressing mix. Put it in the fridge to chill while you make your salad.

Ya’ll…this dressing is so good, and I will admit I tweaked the original recipe by adding the Hidden Valley and it is excellent (I just couldn’t imagine a dressing with just buttermilk and mayonnaise.)

Feel free to use the regular ranch dressing mix, I mean who doesn’t love a good ranch dressing, especially Gracie B. in my family.

But not my husband because he wouldn’t eat ranch dressing for a million dollars.

Wait.

For a million dollars I would hold him down and spoon feed him.

But this buttermilk (I can hardly type it but it does make this dressing so good) dressing is the absolute key to this salad.

Well, that and the bacon. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Next, I made my pico de gallo and this is so fresh and so good I wanted to eat it by itself.  Simply dice your tomatoes, purple onion and jalapeno pepper (feel free to use the ones in a jar) and combine in a bowl.

My family doesn’t like a lot of fresh onion (even though I do), so the recipe calls for a small purple onion and I only used a half. I also only used a half of one jalapeno.

To your pico add the lime juice, salt, garlic salt and pepper and toss well.

Next, the recipe calls for shredded iceberg lettuce so I sliced and diced mine up.

Next, drain your beans and rinse thoroughly and then drain your corn and mix them together.

Finally, we are ready for the bacon and for this recipe and I used the precooked kind. I do think real bacon bits (not imitation) would be okay and of course, you could actually fry bacon if you have time.

Chop your bacon into bites and get ready to assemble!

My trifle bowl was large enough to have 2 layers, but there are deeper ones, so you definitely have enough ingredients prepared for 3 layers.

Start by layering in this order: lettuce, crumbled cornbread, bacon, corn and beans, pico, dressing and shredded cheese.

Repeat: lettuce, crumbled cornbread, bacon, corn and beans, pico, dressing and shredded cheese.

3^rd layer: lettuce, crumbled cornbread, bacon, corn and beans, pico, dressing and shredded cheese.

Wait.

See, I’m NOT a math dummy, after all…I just counted to 3!

Dollop some sour cream, bacon and cheese to garnish!

It’s an easy recipe that makes a beautiful presentation and can be tweaked to accommodate different diets.

And unlike Iguana Ike, I’m not going to lie…this one is a keeper.

Question: What are some types of salads you make?